Normal Times A Thousand

the end of zee world...

2009-01-05T13:44:00.001-08:00

United We Stand; Dissolved We Fall

2009-01-02T21:34:00.000-08:00

Wow ~ http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html

In Memorium... Part Duex

2009-01-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

In Memorium...

2009-01-01T21:33:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year ...Dream Board #1

2008-12-31T23:03:00.000-08:00

The Dream Board is a seemingly simple undertaking. The hard part is knowing when it's done. :o) You create a collage of sorts with whatever materials & mediums you choose. The pictures, colors, words & phrases are things that you want to attract into your life. Basically, an artistically graphic diary of sorts.

The picture is one I took during the snowfall last week. The woods have always been a place of peace & calm. The words are self explanatory. The colors represent life, calm & warmth. I am not completely satisfied with this one but it is a good start.

I plan on doing one a month but I think it could become an addiction once I have my work/play space organized. I have already purchased some small canvasses, paints, glitters, etc to add to my craft collection. I have some ideas for more dreamboards and will post them as they are completed.

Blessings to you & yours in this new year...

RW

Fun little toy...

2008-12-11T18:19:00.000-08:00

Interesting...

This one is of my blog. http://www.wordle.net/gallery/wrdl/380427/Life...

Go. Try. Fun. Thoughtprovoking... http://www.wordle.net/

Letter to a Friend

2008-12-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

Hi! :o) Blessed Yule & Happy Holidays,

Wow, I don't know where to start. Things are going well. SC is enjoying his job. Bubba is registered in school and will start the first week of February. It is called Insight and is an online school through Washington state public school. He will get a laptop and have a private account to log into on the school server. He will do a majority of classwork online with some supplemental resources. We are slowly but surely unpacking; getting things settled. Here is where it gets interesting.

<<>>

Before we left town, my sister volunteered to finish packing and cleaning the house so we could get up here and not worry about it. After we got the house here, we decided on having Maria & crew drive the truck up here the weekend before Thanksgiving. We would unload the truck and they would spend T-day with us. On Friday they would head home.

Wednesday (the 19th) before they left, Mom and Bubba and I were getting ready to go shopping. Mom went to let the dogs in the back door and tripped over an area rug. :( She landed on her knees first and then tried to break her fall with her hands. She landed on the carpet, face first, with her arm under her. I heard this loud bump and realized she had hit her head on the back door. She ended up with a disjointed pinkie, a carpet burn on her forehead...aaaaannnnnnd fractured the c-1 & c-2 bones at the top of her spine/base of her neck, as well as the knob at the top of the spine.

I didn't let her move, kept her as still as I could. I wasn't sure if I should take her to an urgent care or call an ambulance. I can't believe I was actually afraid Mom would be upset with me for calling 911. (shaking my head) I did call 911 a couple minutes later. I told her I didn't care if she got mad at me. :|

She was in the hospital for 5 days. On Saturday (the 22nd), the doctor operated to insert a screw into the the fracture to encourage it to fuse back together. She will have a neckbrace for two or three months & is supposed to lie as flat as possible. She didn't lose any mobility; no other bones broken. (sigh)

She came home the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Then all hell really broke loose! My sister had arrived Saturday afternoon with the truck holding the rest of our belongings, as well as my nephew, JG, her step-daughter, S. and her 1 year old grand baby, A. On top of that my uncle and aunt came up from Portland the Friday after she fell. So, I had a houseful of people, boxes, animals, and crying babies all at a time when I am feeling scaredfrustratedanxiousguiltyoutofmygourd... not a good time.

I need to diverge and give you some back story...

The day we went to drive away from the Fresno house, our Ford died. My sister knowing that we had to leave by the morning at the latest was kind enough to let us borrow their car for the trip. My sister is a christian, but not just ANY kind of christian. No, when my family does something they do it up reeeeeaaaal good. My sister is a bible-thumpin, right wing conservative who believes that Barack Hussein Obama is a terrorist that will ruin our nation with his Muslim ways. Forget about the fact that ALL of that has been disproven time and time again.

Well, weeks before, on the back of our car, SC & I had proudly placed our Obama/Biden bumper sticker. It apparently drove my sister crazy to be driving the car around with that bumper sticker. So, about a week before the election, she took it upon herself to remove said bumper sticker. Ridiculous...

When SC saw the bumper sticker gone, he was upset, no, actually, he was pissed. Scorchingly pissed. Freedom of speech, censorship, personal property violated, etc. My sister is also a controller and drove both myself and mom crazy with her issues. I am picky about my kitchen; I had some of my cabinets already arranged. I left for a few hours and when I returned all the cabinets had been rearranged according to my sister's needs rather than mine. RAWR!!!!

Anyway, things did NOT end well at ALL, girlfriend. Jimi and my sister got into a fight on Wednesday morning (day before Thanksgiving). Things were said, that while true, probably shouldn't have been spoken. My sister & crew left. My Aunt & Uncle let their disapproval be known and left. So, we had a quiet Turkey day.

Mom & I have had several incredible talks. She is upset with my sister also. There are promises that Mary has made to Mom and then broken. Have you ever known anyone who could rewrite history? My sister can. It is mind-blowing.

So, Mom & Jimi made up (he apologized for saying what should have stayed inside words), Jimi & I made up and here we sit. No resolution to the whole sister thing. RIght now, that is fine with me.

I am examining a few things in how I handle traumatic events. Realizing that I need to be able to access my spiritual/creative side. I can't do that until I have my house setup. I can't get my house setup til my boxes are unpacked. Sooo, I am going to move my butt and get my boxes unpacked so I can access that whole spiritual/creative side o' things. I am looking into pagan resources up here. Looking for a group of people to hook up with for myself and Andrew. We are going to go to the library Saturday, see what groups are available for Bubba ~ maybe a chess club...

We miss you guys. I hope everyone's health is good and that you have a great holiday season! Write me, send pictures...hope to see you sometime soon. :o)

Tam

In Dog We Trust...

2008-08-30T00:16:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl we had a dog named, Ginger. She was the best dog... She looked like Lassie over there but a little smaller.

She would stand at the edge of the yard if someone was approaching and bark her head off, sounding the alarm. Ginger's bark was imposing and, coupled with some very sharp rows of teeth, she was not a dog a stranger would want to mess with. When I was about 6 or so, Ginger was diagnosed with arthritis in her hips. Movement was extremely painful for her. We had no choice but to put her to sleep. It is the only time I remember my father crying. A couple of other dogs came through the house but none were as impressive (for me) as Ginger.

As I became a teen, I turned more towards cats. Punkin was my favorite cat; she wandered into a friend's backyard and stayed. After looking for the owners for a month or so, realized they counldn't keep her. Mom adopted her for my 18th birthday present. She was this big fluffball of orange, black, tan & white who loved sleeping under warm clothes freshly removed from the dryer and thought the water coming from the faucet was a toy for her to bat around. We never had to buy her toys. She preferred the ring from the milk jug or cork from the wine bottle, bouncing and throwing them around for the longest time. She wandered out of our lives the same way she came into them. One day, when she was about 18 years old, she just wandered off. I picture her curling up somewhere & just not waking up again.

Now, once again, I have a dog, Olivia. She wandered into my life also. Heading over to my sister's one day, my mother and I found her in the middle of the road. Her ribs were sticking out of this itty bitty puppy body, she peed and scrunched up from excitement/fear as I called to her. She did this funny left to right, backward/forward walk as she came towards me. Like she was happy & scared at the same time. We named her Olivia because we found her in the middle of Olive Avenue; Bubba came up with her name. That the name is the same as our daughter's favorite tv character {Olivia Benson of Law & Order: SVU} is simply a bonus!

She is part rat terrier, part chihuahua, a little mountain goat, attack/guard dog, clown, acrobat, comedian, part scrounge, doorbell...

Being trans-parent...

2008-08-02T01:41:00.000-07:00

I am afraid to be transparent. You don't wanna hear about my problems. But I need to talk about my problems so that I can process them and move past them. You, however, do not have to be here if you don't want to; so, read on if you want to but don't bitch at me if you don't like what you read.

I am so angry, disappointed, hurt, bewildered by my son's behavior. But before I go through that; I want to put down the back story.

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As sands through the hour glass....

...so are the days of our lives. That would make a good opening to a soap opera. Oh, that's right it is... sigh. I have often said that I don't need to watch soap operas because my life is already too much of one. As is evidenced by recent events.

Back Story: My husband and I have a 18 year old son, Bubba.... Long story...J and I met in 1988at the Blue Moon Tavern in Seattle. It was definitely attraction, fascination, both physical and mental, at first site. We were pretty much inseparable after that point. I got pregnant (w/B) and neither of us was at a point where we could really commit to a relationship, so I moved to California to be with my Mom. I married someone and tried to make him J; J married someone and tried to make her me, obviously THAT didn't work. So, 15 years later, I finally got smart and kicked my husband out, began divorce proceedings and called J to see if he wanted a relationship with his son. Unbeknownst to me, he was also in divorce proceedings and when we finally talked we realized that we still loved each other, that attraction/fascination had never gone away. So, I moved to Washington to be with J and moved B up a few months later (he stayed with his grandma while I found a job) so we could start a whole new life as a family. This post is going to be a lot longer than I thought it would be but hang in there 'cause there is a point. :o) If you wanna keep reading go for it; if I've lost you, well...not much I can do about that...cause, well, this is my life. So, Andrew was diagnosed when he was about 5 with ADHD. He has been on a couple different meds which seemed to help with some of the behaviors but not all of his behaviors fit with the ADHD diagnosis. As he grew up I called him my 'absentminded professor', he was obviously smart, good sense of humor, seemed to do ok with change, but would over focus on things he was really interested in and could talk your ear off about certain things he would learn about. His language developed fine but not so his math abilities. So, when we moved him up here we knew we would have some transistion problems but nothing like what we encountered. We had a group of professionals telling us yes, he's depressed, and obviously has ADHD but your not doing enough at home, he's not doing enough at school....basically, he's lazy and unmotivated, your a horrible parent - get your act together. We requested more testing, an appt with the school psychologist and were told (by the school psych) that B did not merit any further testing, no special education services because his literacy scores were to high. Whatever! Things did not go well at all. B was disrespectful, rude, stole things, hugely disobedient, and lied about multiple things. Remember, at this time we only had an ADHD diagnosis, nothing else. None of us had heard of Asperger's yet...

B ended up moving back down to Fresno to live with Grandma. Mom got him into school down here and they settled in for the long haul. It wasn't long before more behaviors started showing up. Wild storytelling, writing his stories in class instead of paying attention, yada and yada. So, he ended up getting a first class ticket to see the school psychologist. Finally! Someone was paying attention.

If you have hung in so far, good for you - cause the payoff is coming soon! :o) Mrs. M, the school psychologist, was wonderful. She spent time with B, took him through different tests, had meetings with my mother and B and his teachers, she will forever be on the top of my "I love you so much - Thank you for paying attention" list. Score! At the last Parent-Teacher meeting, she had an new area for us to explore - big drum roll here- ASPERGER'S SYNDROME..... Now, while I know that as a parent you never want there to be something wrong with your baby, when there is something that makes your baby so obviously different than other kids (to you anyway), you get rather excited when there is something that actually explains all the differences and the odd reactions, and the funny way he has of looking of at and thinking about things, and so much more. If you have never read about Aperger's I recommend you do. It is quite fascinating - and as my mother and I and B and J read all about AS and the behaviors associated with AS - we were all quite blown away.

J and I made the difficult decision to move to California so we could help my Mom and B. I was under no illusions (or so I thought) that things were going to be easy; I never knew they were going to be as difficult as they have been.

AS will never go away - you learn to live with it. And there are a lot of people with AS that are living quite successfully. Our household is NOT a shining picture of domestic bliss at this time. B has to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to get him to do anything. Apparently, we don't have enough authority to change the rules in his head.

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So, that is the short version *snort* of the back story. B has been seing a counselor regularly since the beginning of the year. B's official state diagnosis is severe depression (the state won't cover treatment for AS because it is not a mental illness). His counselor is going to refer him to a program that will teach life skills and social skills; help him re-wire his thinking and adjust the rules in his head so they are more socially acceptable.

Time for bed; more later

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

No Habla BlahBlah

2008-07-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

Life with Asperger's is, um, interesting. Never boring! :o) B has been seeing a psychiatrist for 3 months and is taking an anti-depressant, Zoloft. It seems to be helping the mood swings. We don't have to put up with as MANY grumpy days as has been normal in the past. We are also looking into some job training and social skills stuff through a local program. So, things are looking up... :o}

He is sitting here watching me type (and correcting my spelling). Hmmm, maybe I should have him write a post about what it is like as an 18 year old newly diagnosed with AS. He is a writer after all... Well, son? :o)

He doesn't exactly like the name of his particular syndrome... It sounds too much like Ass-burgers, he says. Which brings all sorts of unwanted images... ummm, yeah, no! :o) The finer points of social interaction are difficult for him to grasp but he is a hugely social person. He will talk your ear off about his sunbjects of interest. Movies, cars, science fiction, fantasy writing, LOTR, Star Wars, Mummy, Indiana Jones, Anime, {he is giggling telling me not to put certain things down...like, Pokemon} and Halo. He loves to read, is highly intelligent, and drives me nutters!

Soon I will tell the story of why it took so long to get a correct diagnosis. Something that I am sure many parents will identify with...

Until then... Hasta la Pasta!!!!

Normal Times A Thousand...

2008-01-11T23:58:00.000-08:00

Eighteen years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was 9 pounds, 13 ounces, 21 1/2 inches long and we'll call him B. As he grew up, he definitely became an individual with a mind of his own. March to the beat of his own drummer, eccentric, goes his own way, all phrases used to describe him. He had particular ways of doing everything and if he learned it one way, that was the only way it could be done. I would tell tell him that if Jesus came back and stood in front of him he would argue that it wasn't Jesus. Just in the last year he has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, depression, and an as yet unnamed learning disability. We have a new therapist, who is willing to learn whatever is needed to help Andrew and us adjust to the changes we need to make. Andrew is on the waiting list for the psychiatrist and potential meds. Also, we are in the process of looking for a family doctor for Andrew.

He still argues, although now it's more unpredictable. I never know from day to day how grumpy and sullen he's going to be or prehaps this day he will be cooperative. More often than not he is irritable, argumentative and reluctant to do anything he is asked. I know that he is depressed because we have switched to a charter/homeschool situation from public school. Unfortunately that can't be helped. Andrew gets overwhelmed when there is too much activity around him, too much talk, too much information at once, more than one voice at a time (including his own voice in his head).

Today was a rare day, a good day. He was up when I asked him to get up and came out ready to work on his least favorite subject, Math. :o) But he did everything that was needed and with a good attitude. I cherish these days... He also completed his Languuage Arts with out being hounded and remembered to bring the cans back in from he curb after only being told once! Yea!!!!! That is an excellent day.

A Wonderful Internet Find

2008-01-08T21:19:00.000-08:00

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Another Song to Know Me By...

2008-01-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love this song...
Keep in mind the era when these lyrics were written:

I Wanna Be Evil by Eartha Kitt
originally recorded in 1953

I've posed for pictures with Iv'ry Soap,
I've petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope
(I've petted stray dogs, and I never mope)
My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender
But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender

I've been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer,
(I've been named Miss Perseverance year after year,)
And I'm the person to whom they say, "Your sweet, My Dear."
The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass,
And the closest I've been to a bar, is at ballet class.

Prim and proper, the girl who's never been kissed,
I'm tired of being pure and not chased.
Like something that seeks it's level
I wanna go to the devil.

Refrain
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies

I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad

I wanna be evil, and trump an ace,
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel
I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool

And in the theatre
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on
Everybody's feet

I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
(I want to be horrid, I want to make news)*
And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose

I wanna be evil, little evil me
Just as mean and evil as I can be

For Your Enjoyment...

2008-01-06T22:11:00.000-08:00

Finding My Funny...After The Holidays

2008-01-05T21:50:00.000-08:00

So, I have no problem being funny on other people's blogs not so much on mine. Yet... It'll get there.

In the meanwhile, I think my family has had enough family time for awhile. Fist fights and constant sniping over board games are a couple of tell-tale signs. And the chair through the window, well, that was the final straw! Just kidding about the fisticuffs and the chair.... Not the arguing though! Is there anyone else who has a difficult time being corrected almost constantly by those who are under 18 years old? Or even those who ACT like they are under 18 years old? And it's not like they are right or anything, just contrary. Arrrgh! I love my family, they are some of the best people to spend time with...just not a whole bunch of time at once. Sigh, I am so glad the holidays are over.

10 Things I'm Gonna Keep Doing in the New Year

2008-01-04T23:36:00.001-08:00

10. Twittering ~ I love the twittering. I am looking forward to a BlogHer conference to get to know some of those twits. Perhaps a Twitterista party or a Twitterganza? hmmm...

9. Cooking ~ I will still cook otherwise my family would starve and that would NOT be a good thing. Right?

8. Breathing ~ In order to live, one must breathe. It is a law of nature.

7. Eating ~ Eating, just like breathing, is a necessity of life. Therefore, I must continue to eat.

6. Living ~ Yes, I do want to live and so, as long as I have a choice, I will live.

5. Blogging ~ I enjoy the blogging. I am not completely comfortable with it yet. I am going to keep at it though until I have something I like. I am following this idea - lurk, lurk, and well, lurk and learn from those who precede.

4. Take pictures - The camera has a way of speaking in a way words never could.

3. Meeting new people ~ I am not sure that twitting and blogging qualify in this category...wait, this is m list and I say they do! So, they do!

2. Going to school ~ For the first time in my life I know what I want to be when I grow up ~ nd I am going to be the best at it that I can possibly be.

1. Loving my husband ~ I am married to the most wonderful man on the face of the earth. We are not perfect, just perfect for each other. He is my best friend, my cheerleader, and I adore him.

National WHAT Month?

2008-01-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

January is National Hot Tea and Soup Month.

Just in time for January...how 'bout that. No planning, no forewarning...just poof and there 'twas. Srsly, tho, I love a great soup and hot tea depends on the spice involved.

And one other frequently overlooked, must celebrate January holiday...

Drinking Straw Day: In eighteen hundred and eighty eight, Marvin Stone
patented the first paraffin covered paper straw.

So, you just go on and celebrate...you celebrate real good. :o)

Wednesday - Say Something Important or...Food for Thought

2008-01-02T16:33:00.000-08:00

"If you stop searching, you stop living, because then you're dwelling in the past. If you're not reaching forward to any growth or future, you might as well be dead."

Wynn Bullock

Photographic Proof

Tuesday...A Song to Know Me By...

2008-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Faithless
written by Neil Peart
sung by Rush

I've got my own moral compass to steer by
A guiding star beats a spirit in the sky
And all the preaching voices -
Empty vessels ring so loud
As they move among the crowd
Fools and thieves are well disguised
In the temple and market place

Like a stone in the river
Against the floods of spring
I will quietly resist

Like the willows in the wind
Or the cliffs along the ocean
I will quietly resist

I don't have faith in faith
I don't believe in belief
You can call me faithless
But I still cling to hope
And I believe in love
And that's faith enough for me

I've got my own spirit level for balance
To tell if my choice is leaning up or down
And all the shouting voices
Try to throw me off my course
Some by sermons, some by force
Fools and thieves are dangerous
In the temple and marketplace

Like a forest bows to winter
Beneath the deep white silence
I will quietly resist

Like a flower in the desert
That only blooms at night
I will quietly resist